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Pennsylvanian Warmth

The Pennsylvanian people are renowned for their warmth and hospitality.  But they're also noted for their toughness in a climate which, in winter, can rival Montana's harsheness.  This handy Pennsylvania temperature conversion chart makes the point!

 Pennsylvania Temperature Conversions

@ +70 degrees

Texans turn on the heat and unpack the thermal underwear.

People in Pennsylvania go swimming in the rivers

@ +60 degrees

North Carolinians try to turn on the heat.

People in Pennsylvania plant gardens.

@ +50 degrees

Californians shiver uncontrollably.

People in Pennsylvania sunbathe.

@ +40 degrees

Italian and English cars won't start.

People in Pennsylvania drive with the windows down.

@ +32 degrees

Distilled water freezes.

Susquehanna river water gets a little thicker than usual.

@ +20 degrees

Floridians wear coats, thermal underwear, gloves, and wool hats.

People in Pennsylvania throw on a flannel shirt.

@ +15 degrees

Virginia landlords finally turn up the heat.

People in Pennsylvania have the last cookout before it gets cold.

@ +10 degrees

People in Miami all perish from exposure.

Pennsylvania high school students lick the flagpole.

@ -20 degrees

Californians fly away to Mexico.

People in Pennsylvania get out their winter coats.

@ -40 degrees

Hollywood shatters.

The Girl Scouts in Pennsylvania are selling cookies door-to-door.

@ -60 degrees

Polar bears begin to evacuate from the Arctic.

Pennsylvania Boy Scouts postpone "Winter Survival" classes until it gets cold enough.

@ -80 degrees

Yellowstone's geysers freeze over.

People in Pennsylvania rent some videos.

@ -100 degrees

Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.

Penn State students get frustrated because they can't thaw the keg.

@ -297 degrees

Microbial life no longer survives.

Cows in Pennsylvania complain about farmers with cold hands.

@ -460 degrees

All atomic motion ceases (absolute zero in the Kelvin scale).

People in Pennsylvania start saying, "What are you going to do when it gets cold?"

@ -500 degrees

Hell freezes over.

The Eagles win the Superbowl.
.

[ Back to Humor & Ethics Index ]

Edited and adapted from an anonymous email forwarded
by the stunningly brilliant Terry G.
~

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