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Pennsylvanian Warmth The
Pennsylvanian people are renowned for their warmth and
hospitality. But they're also noted for their toughness in a
climate which, in winter, can rival Montana's harsheness. This
handy Pennsylvania temperature conversion chart makes the point!
Pennsylvania
Temperature Conversions
@ +70 degrees
Texans turn on
the heat and unpack the thermal underwear.
People in
Pennsylvania go swimming in the rivers
@ +60 degrees
North Carolinians
try to turn on the heat.
People in
Pennsylvania plant gardens.
@ +50 degrees
Californians
shiver uncontrollably.
People in
Pennsylvania sunbathe.
@ +40 degrees
Italian and
English cars won't start.
People in
Pennsylvania drive with the windows down.
@ +32 degrees
Distilled water
freezes.
Susquehanna river
water gets a little thicker than usual.
@ +20 degrees
Floridians wear
coats, thermal underwear, gloves, and wool hats.
People in
Pennsylvania throw on a flannel shirt.
@ +15 degrees
Virginia
landlords finally turn up the heat.
People in
Pennsylvania have the last cookout before it gets cold.
@ +10 degrees
People in Miami
all perish from exposure.
Pennsylvania high
school students lick the flagpole.
@ -20 degrees
Californians fly
away to Mexico.
People in
Pennsylvania get out their winter coats.
@ -40 degrees
Hollywood
shatters.
The Girl Scouts
in Pennsylvania are selling cookies door-to-door.
@ -60 degrees
Polar bears begin
to evacuate from the Arctic.
Pennsylvania Boy
Scouts postpone "Winter Survival" classes until it gets cold
enough.
@ -80 degrees
Yellowstone's
geysers freeze over.
People in
Pennsylvania rent some videos.
@ -100 degrees
Santa Claus
abandons the North Pole.
Penn State
students get frustrated because they can't thaw the keg.
@ -297 degrees
Microbial life no
longer survives.
Cows in
Pennsylvania complain about farmers with cold hands.
@ -460 degrees
All atomic motion
ceases (absolute zero in the Kelvin scale).
People in
Pennsylvania start saying, "What are you going to do when it gets
cold?"
@ -500 degrees
Hell freezes
over.
The Eagles win
the Superbowl.
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[ Back
to Humor & Ethics Index ]
Edited
and adapted from an anonymous email forwarded
by the stunningly brilliant Terry G.~
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