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Tomatoes Versus Email

Friends are always sending along humorous emails for this section of our site, but this one is a cautionary tale, and well worth reading.  As is often the case, we don't know the original source, but we'd certainly like to shake his hand -- right after we buy a crate of tomatoes.  - Ed.

An unemployed man is desperate to support his family of a wife and three children. He applies for a janitor's job at Microsoft and easily passes the aptitude test.

The Microsoft human resources manager tells him, "You will be hired at minimum wage of $5.15 an hour. Let me have your e-mail address so that we can get you in the loop. Our system will automatically e-mail you all the forms, and advise you when to start and where to report on your first day."

Taken aback, the man protests that he is poor and has neither a computer nor an e-mail address.

To this the manager replies, "You must understand that to a company like Microsoft -- that means that you virtually do not exist. Without an e-mail address you can hardly expect to be employed by a high-tech firm."  The manager then sends the man packing with a dismissive, "Good day."

Stunned and crestfallen, the man leaves. Not knowing where to turn, he walks aimlessly until he chances to pass a farmers' market where he sees a stand selling 25-pound crates of beautiful red tomatoes. 

With his last ten dollars, he buys a crate, carries it to a busy corner, and displays the tomatoes to passers-by. In less than two hours he sells all the tomatoes and makes 100% profit. Repeating the process several times more that day, he ends up with almost $100, and arrives home that night with several bags of groceries for his family.

During the night he decides to repeat the tomato business the next day. By the end of the week he is getting up early every morning and working into the night. He multiplies his profits quickly. At the beginning of the second week he acquires a cart to transport several boxes of tomatoes at a time; but before a month is up, he sells the cart to buy a broken-down pickup truck.

At the end of a year he owns three old trucks. His two sons have left their neighborhood gangs to help him with the tomato business; his wife is buying the tomatoes, and his daughter is taking night courses at the community college so she can keep the books for him.

By the end of the second year he has a dozen very nice used trucks and employs fifteen previously unemployed people, all selling tomatoes. He continues to work hard.

Time passes swiftly for him, and at the end of the fifth year he owns a fleet of nice trucks and a warehouse that his wife supervises, plus two tomato farms that the boys manage. The tomato company's payroll has put hundreds of homeless and jobless people to work. His daughter reports that the business grossed almost ten million dollars.

Planning for the future, he decides to buy some life insurance.  Consulting with an insurance adviser, he picks an insurance plan to fit his new circumstances. Then the adviser asks him for his e-mail address in order to send the final documents electronically.

When the man replies that he doesn't have time to mess with a computer and has no e-mail address, the insurance man is stunned:  "What, you don't have e-mail? No computer? No Internet? Just think where you would be today if you'd had all of that five years ago!"

"Ha!" snorts the man. "If I'd had e-mail five years ago I would be sweeping floors at Microsoft and making $5.15 an hour."

Which brings us to the moral:

If you got this story by e-mail or over the Internet, you're probably closer to being a janitor than a millionaire.

Speaking of which, you can forward this story to a friend with the "Email this link to a friend" tool at the upper left... - Ed.

 

[ Back to Humor & Ethics Index ]

Edited and adapted from an anonymous email forwarded
by the neuron-depolarized  Jeff G.

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