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Tomatoes Versus Email Friends
are always sending along humorous emails for this section of our site,
but this one is a cautionary tale, and well worth reading. As is
often the case, we don't know the original source, but we'd certainly
like to shake his hand -- right after we buy a crate of tomatoes.
- Ed.
An unemployed man is desperate to
support his family of a wife and three children. He applies for a
janitor's job at Microsoft and easily passes the aptitude test.
The Microsoft human resources
manager tells him, "You will be hired at minimum wage of $5.15 an
hour. Let me have your e-mail address so that we can get you in the
loop. Our system will automatically e-mail you all the forms, and advise
you when to start and where to report on your first day."
Taken aback, the man protests
that he is poor and has neither a computer nor an e-mail address.
To this the manager replies,
"You must understand that to a company like Microsoft -- that means
that you virtually do not exist. Without an e-mail address you can
hardly expect to be employed by a high-tech firm." The
manager then sends the man packing with a dismissive, "Good
day."
Stunned and crestfallen, the man
leaves. Not knowing where to turn, he walks aimlessly until he chances
to pass a farmers' market where he sees a stand selling 25-pound crates
of beautiful red tomatoes.
With his last ten dollars, he
buys a crate, carries it to a busy corner, and displays the tomatoes to
passers-by. In less than two hours he sells all the tomatoes and makes
100% profit. Repeating the process several times more that day, he ends
up with almost $100, and arrives home that night with several bags of
groceries for his family.
During the night he decides to
repeat the tomato business the next day. By the end of the week he is
getting up early every morning and working into the night. He multiplies
his profits quickly. At the beginning of the second week he acquires a
cart to transport several boxes of tomatoes at a time; but before a
month is up, he sells the cart to buy a broken-down pickup truck.
At the end of a year he owns
three old trucks. His two sons have left their neighborhood gangs to
help him with the tomato business; his wife is buying the tomatoes, and
his daughter is taking night courses at the community college so she can
keep the books for him.
By the end of the second year he
has a dozen very nice used trucks and employs fifteen previously
unemployed people, all selling tomatoes. He continues to work hard.
Time passes swiftly for him, and
at the end of the fifth year he owns a fleet of nice trucks and a
warehouse that his wife supervises, plus two tomato farms that the boys
manage. The tomato company's payroll has put hundreds of homeless and
jobless people to work. His daughter reports that the business grossed
almost ten million dollars.
Planning for the future, he
decides to buy some life insurance. Consulting with an insurance
adviser, he picks an insurance plan to fit his new circumstances. Then
the adviser asks him for his e-mail address in order to send the final
documents electronically.
When the man replies that he
doesn't have time to mess with a computer and has no e-mail address, the
insurance man is stunned: "What, you don't have e-mail? No
computer? No Internet? Just think where you would be today if you'd had
all of that five years ago!"
"Ha!" snorts the man.
"If I'd had e-mail five years ago I would be sweeping floors at
Microsoft and making $5.15 an hour."
Which brings us to the moral:
If you got this story by e-mail
or over the Internet, you're probably closer to being a janitor than a
millionaire.
Speaking of which, you can
forward this story to a friend with the "Email this link to a
friend" tool at the upper left... - Ed.
[ Back
to Humor & Ethics Index ]
Edited
and adapted
from an anonymous email forwarded
by the neuron-depolarized Jeff G.
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