Interview With Polish Psychic Uri
Golumki
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Psychic Golumki:
Hey, fat head, big face.
FFFast:
The Martians are fatheads?
Psychic Golumki:
This is what Psychic Golumki predicts. My brother-in-law is fathead, and
everyone thinks he come from Mars. It only makes sense, no?
FFFast:
What about Martian technology? Are they as advanced as we are? More
advanced?
Psychic Golumki:
No. Very primitive, not smart -- in Polish, we have word for it: stupid.
Even have indoor plumbing, but they do not know how to use. That is why so dry
on Mars.
FFFast:
Perhaps we can look into the past a little. Some say Martians helped
build Cheops and the Egyptian pyramids. Is this so?
Psychic Golumki:
That is very silly idea. [laughs] Pyramids built by Halliburton,
everyone knows this. Hosny Mubarak, he still tries to get his money back
for what they overcharge him.
FFFast:
What about the legends that refugees from a vanquished Mars fled to
Earth and founded Atlantis?
Psychic Golumki:
Also not true. People get confused, because Martians invent Mylanta.
Food there sucks.
FFFast:
One final question: Will the Mars Spirit or Opportunity rovers encounter
these Mars inhabitants?
Psychic Golumki:
Already, they have. One of them relieve himself on the Spirit rover,
which is what make the machine stop working for a while.
FFFast:
Thank you for these great insights, Psychic Golumki. Is there anything
you would like to add?
Psychic Golumki:
No, I thank you. Dzie kuje. But -- could you help me find taxi? I
can never find...
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