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Interview With Polish Psychic Uri Golumki
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Page 1 Page 2 Bio

Psychic Golumki:
Hey, fat head, big face.

FFFast:
The Martians are fatheads?

Psychic Golumki:
This is what Psychic Golumki predicts. My brother-in-law is fathead, and everyone thinks he come from Mars. It only makes sense, no?

FFFast:
What about Martian technology? Are they as advanced as we are? More advanced?

Psychic Golumki:
No. Very primitive, not smart -- in Polish, we have word for it: stupid. Even have indoor plumbing, but they do not know how to use. That is why so dry on Mars.

FFFast:
Perhaps we can look into the past a little. Some say Martians helped build Cheops and the Egyptian pyramids. Is this so?

Psychic Golumki:
That is very silly idea. [laughs] Pyramids built by Halliburton, everyone knows this. Hosny Mubarak, he still tries to get his money back for what they overcharge him.

FFFast:
What about the legends that refugees from a vanquished Mars fled to Earth and founded Atlantis?

Psychic Golumki:
Also not true. People get confused, because Martians invent Mylanta. Food there sucks.

FFFast:
One final question: Will the Mars Spirit or Opportunity rovers encounter these Mars inhabitants?

Psychic Golumki:
Already, they have. One of them relieve himself on the Spirit rover, which is what make the machine stop working for a while.

FFFast:
Thank you for these great insights, Psychic Golumki. Is there anything you would like to add?

Psychic Golumki:
No, I thank you. Dzie kuje. But -- could you help me find taxi? I can never find...

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