THE COLISEUM HOAX... Italian authorities announced today that a five-century long police sting has finally yielded results. In an unprecedented dragnet involving sixty different Italian government agencies, two men and a very large pickup truck were captured and indicted for tourism fraud.

According to authorities, the famed Coliseum, one of Italy's most recognizable landmarks, was never even built.

"A terrible fraud has been perpetrated on the unsuspecting people of Italy by unscrupulous tourism interests," announced Italian Ministry of Antiquities spokesperson Vito Imokyourokini.

"We know now that two men, driving a blue 1986 Chevy pickup with 4WD and extended bed, gathered up likely-looking rubble from all over Europe," said Imokyourokini, "and then deposited them on the site that is known as the Coliseum."

When asked who was responsible for passing off the bogus pile of stones as an ancient monument, Imokyourokini hastily added, "Hey, not me -- how was I to know it was just a bunch of rocks?"

Imokyourokini declined to comment on why he spoke English without an accent.

"This is an unmitigated disgrace to all of Italy," bemoaned one unnamed pizza vendor, when told that the Coliseum was a fraud. "Who knew?"

The pizza vendor also declined to comment on why he spoke English without an accent; however, he did admit to knowing that pizza was not an Italian invention.

Antiquities Ministry spokesman Imokyourokini could not comment on any definite plans for the future of the fraudulent Coliseum.  "I can tell you this, though.  This is giving us serious pause for thought.  With the Italian tourism industry in the flusher, we're considering adding more pickup trucks to next year's budget."

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